you only disappear/ tom mcrae

Close my eyes I'm moving still
Magazines and dollar bills
And you wake up to a fall of snow
Your telephone your radio

Baby I'll call up a storm
Keep you safe from harm
But you only you only disappear
You only you only disappear

I can live with my regrets
Still raise a smile, still raise my head
And a stranger God can be so cruel
And a holy fool is still a fool

But this is all I can say
I have lost my way
But you only you only disappear
You only you only disappear

With a word with a line
With a smile that says goodbye
Baby says goodbye
Baby says goodbye

It's raining now
On Royal Street
And I'd walk to you
If I could trust my feet

e tenebris/ for larentina

COME down, O Christ, and help me! reach thy hand,
For I am drowning in a stormier sea
Than Simon on thy lake of Galilee:
The wine of life is spilt upon the sand,
My heart is as some famine-murdered land,
Whence all good things have perished utterly,
And well I know my soul in Hell must lie
If I this night before God's throne should stand.
"He sleeps perchance, or rideth to the chase,
Like Baal, when his prophets howled that name 10
From morn to noon on Carmel's smitten height."
Nay, peace, I shall behold before the night,
The feet of brass, the robe more white than flame,
The wounded hands, the weary human face.
Oscar Wilde

gittiğim bütün hekimler aynı şeyleri söylediler
söz birliği etmişcesine
"aşk hastalığıdır bunun adı
ve çok sarsar insanı bu yaştan sonra"

oysa ne yalan söyliyeyim,
ben yalnızca
bir kuyrukluyıldıza
çarptığımı sanmıştım
yaşamın çıkmaz sokaklarında yürürken
yüreğim bir patlamayla aydınlanınca

a.akova

it was not something unbelievably perfect. as every living creature or concepts of living... maybe to some extent it was delusionary but I am not sure this was for just one of us or not. love was there, commitment was there and most importantly trust was there. the thing we need most... the sin which is even deadlier than the famous seven ones. the sin we committed when we need a proof of life's necessity. the sin makes us both live and die internally, a healer and a killer at the same time. a saint faced, cold blooded son of a bitch who kills us while singing hyms to our ears.
yes, I was recently murdered by this cute little enemy that I created in the first place. I was standing in a bridge and waiting for a sign to move on. maybe I was waiting for my lover to save me from myself, desperately... when the nigt was slowly appearing through the sky i could sensed that my moment was coming.